Anaconda 3: The Offspring

November 13th, 2008 DVD Reviews, Film, Xpress

Back in 2004 there was a steaming pile of straight to video crap called Boa vs Python, the nadir of the surprisingly resilient giant snake subgenre. It depicted a ruthless businessman who releases an 80-foot snake in the US for a big game hunt, only for a team of scientists to release their own giant mutated snake to try and hunt it.

It was unalloyed trash, a story with not a shred of plausibility and special effects no better than you see on a first generation Playstation game.

The original Anaconda – starring such Hollywood luminaries as Jennifer Lopez and Jon Voight, was a half-serious attempt at a modern horror film, but studio Columbia realised it had a silly, kitschy, trashy delight on its hands. Given the $137m haul from a $45m budget, a franchise was inevitable, so what a shame (if you’re a fan) to see the third instalment descend into the leaden dross of Boa vs Python territory, complete with bargain basement CGI effects that look like a dodgy cartoon overlaid on a real film.

This time it’s the eeevil pharmaceutical industry breeding the bloodthirsty behemoth in pursuit of a miracle cure, and when it gets loose only one man can accompany the implausibly young and hot herpetologist in bringing it down — none other than the Hoff himself.

It’s actually a bit of fun for gorehounds, the giant snake visiting injuries on its victims that a ride-on mower would have trouble replicating, and if it weren’t for such cheap snake effects it would have been the late night video night riot you hope for.


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